


Out Loud

by neko_fish



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 06:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6041347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neko_fish/pseuds/neko_fish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Jim and Bones don't say what they mean and the one time they do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out Loud

**Author's Note:**

> I was going through my folder when I found this old piece written 3 years ago. Apparently I was quite productive a few years ago, and I just thought I'd post this one up.

There are things Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy will never say out loud to each other. Whether it’s because the words are just too embarrassing or because they assume the other already knows, there are certain things they simply don’t say. 

“Bones! Are you okay?” Jim calls out from the other side of the bar. 

The place had broken out into a gigantic brawl (no thanks to Jim, probably) and they had been pulled apart. All Leonard wanted was to get a drink, but here he is, dodging punches and trying to escape his assailant. He doesn’t fight back because that would just mean more work for him tomorrow when all these drunks go filing into Starfleet Medical. He’s not sure how he even managed to hear Jim above all the noise.

“Dammit, Jim, get me out of here!” he calls back.

“On my way! How are you holding up—ow! Fucker!”

The two continue banter amidst the fight until they meet up in the middle.

Jim grins. He’s sporting a black eye and a split lip. “Hey, Bones. Fancy seeing you here.”

He scowls. “How did this happen, Jim?”

“What makes you think I had anything to do with it?” Jim asks innocently. He suddenly punches someone behind Leonard and grins, good eye wide with excitement. “I just saved your life, Bones!” 

Even in the middle of a brawl, he manages to roll his eyes. “Dammit, man! My life wouldn’t need saving if you didn’t do whatever you did!”

Minutes later, they’re all thrown out onto the streets. Stumbling down the road now mostly sober, Jim laughs. “It’s kind of amazing how we managed to find each other in there, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, it’s like we have a goddamn penguin song,” Leonard replies with a snort. “I bet I could pick your whiny voice out from anywhere.”

“That’s not very nice of you, Bones. My voice isn’t whiny.” Jim doesn’t deny the penguin song bit. “Besides, I saved your life in that brawl!”

“You’re the one who needed saving, just look at yourself. You’re a mess. And that wasn’t a bar brawl, that was a violent orgy with no lube or protection. Come on, let’s get you fixed up. Jesus Christ, I don’t understand why you keep getting yourself into these situations, kid.”

‘ _How else would I get you to stay by my side?_ ’ Jim doesn’t say. 

‘ _I’m not going anywhere, you idiot. I wouldn’t do that to you_ ,’ Leonard doesn’t say back.

\--

Jim’s pacing around their dorm room. It’s making Leonard’s head ache. Jim had been given captainship of the Enterprise and is currently trying to come up with a list of everyone he wants on his ship. Leonard’s name hasn’t been called yet and it’s making him worry the inside of his cheek. 

“I’m sure Spock will come when he sees the position unfilled and Uhura sitting pretty in the communications officer seat. Sulu will be my pilot—have you seen that guy fence? It’s crazy. I’m getting a badass fencing pilot, Bones! Isn’t that awesome?”

He nods idly. “That’s great, kid.”

“I want Scotty for my CEO, and Chekov, the crazy child prodigy for navigations. Chapel for head nurse.” Jim sounds like a child listing off everything he wants from Santa for Christmas. And he still hasn’t said Leonard’s name. 

“What about your CMO?”

Jim blinks, nonplussed. “That’s you, of course. I know you’re afraid of space, but you’ll come with me, won’t you, Bones?”

The relief hits Leonard hard and his shoulders visibly relax. “Yeah,” he says with feigned annoyance, “someone’s gotta keep you in one piece out there.”

‘ _There’d be no point in exploring the unknown if you’re not there to share the experience with me_ ,’ Jim doesn’t tell him. ‘ _I won’t leave you behind._ ’

‘ _Space doesn’t scare me as much as the thought of being left behind alone here_ ,’ Leonard doesn’t confess. ‘ _Without you, I’d have nowhere to go back to_.’

\--

Peaceful negotiations always seem too good to be true. But as rare as they are, they do happen at times.

Leonard’s pretty sure the only reason everything went so well is because the princess obviously has a huge crush on Jim. And the king, ever the doting father, agreed to the terms with little resistance for the sake of his daughter.

Not surprisingly, after the banquet and festivities, Jim leaves for his assigned quarters with the princess latched to his arm. He smiles and winks at Leonard though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’ll see you in the morning, Bones.”

Leonard rolls his eyes and ignores the twinge in his heart at the sight. “Goodnight, Jim.”

‘ _What I wouldn’t give to be her_ ,’ Leonard doesn’t say as he watches Jim disappear down the corridor.

‘ _What I wouldn’t give for you to be him_ ,’ Jim doesn’t tell the princess as they enter his chambers.

\--

Latching onto Jim’s arm, Leonard knows it’s futile, but he has to try. “Are you really going to stop them, Jim? You don’t have to.”

Jim frowns. “I have to try, Bones.”

“No you don’t!” he stresses. “Just leave it for the admirals to deal with! This is more dangerous than anything we’ve ever dealt with before.”

“I can’t just sit back and do nothing! They’ll destroy the Earth if we leave it to the admirals!” Jim protests.

Leonard pauses and slowly lets go. He knows he has no chance of winning the argument—not when Jim has that look in his eyes. “You be careful down there, okay? If it gets too hectic down there, you come right back, you hear me, Jim Kirk?”

Blue eyes soften. “I hear you, Bones. I’ll be fine.”

‘ _This is the planet you love so much. This is your home and I’m not about to let anyone bring harm to it,_ ’ Jim doesn’t declare.

‘ _Jim, forget the damn planet. Just make sure you come back to me. You won’t leave me too, will you?_ ’ Leonard doesn’t ask.

\--

It’s a rescue mission gone awry. It was supposed to be simple. Go in, get the survivors, get out. But the transporter is having a bit of a technical difficulty and can only beam up stationary targets. That’s not what deters them. When they get onto the other ship, it turns out that there’s an airborne pathogen circulating through the ventilation system.

Jim immediately orders for everyone to get transported back to the Enterprise but Leonard spots someone moving and without thinking, runs off. Jim’s eyes widen and he calls out but it’s too late.

A moment later, Leonard’s comm sounds. He manages to answer the call while checking over the man’s vitals. “Bones! What the fuck are you doing!?”

“They’re alive, Jim! We can still save them!” The pathogen enters his airway and he starts coughing. “Are you guys alright over there?”

“We’re in quarantine but we seem fine. We’ll find a way to save them from afar! Scotty, get him back!”

“I’m trying, captain. She’s not responding.”

He tries to filter his air with his sleeve as he scans the man and analyzes the results on his tricorder. “These people need help now, Jim. They’ve been exposed to this pathogen for too long. Put Chapel and M’Benga on. I need them to get started on the cure while I check the rest of the people around here.”

Jim reluctantly obeys, but Leonard can hear him urging Scotty to speed up the repairs and arguing with Spock. 

“We can’t do that! It’s Bones! We can’t just leave him! He’s afraid of the stars! We can’t--I won’t leave him there!”

‘ _It’s alright, I’m not afraid. Your eyes are full of stars and I’ve spent so much time looking at them that they don’t scare me anymore_ ,’ Leonard doesn’t reassure him.

‘ _I’m afraid. Space without you is just danger and disease wrapped in darkness and silence, Bones_ ,’ Jim doesn’t cry.

\--

When he comes to, his first gasp of air feels magical. Savouring the feeling of air filling his lungs, he lies there and just breathes for a full minute before opening his eyes. Jim immediately appears and fills his vision. “Bones! Oh thank god you’re awake, you fucking idiot.”

“It’s nice to see you too.” He looks around to see all the bio-beds around him full. “The passengers?”

“We managed to save most of them, Bones. Some of them had been exposed for too long and some of their physiology just couldn’t handle it, but you saved most of them. Fuck, why are you so such a dumbass sometimes? You could’ve died back there!”

It’s only then that he notices his hand in Jim’s shaking one. He says apologetically, “They needed help or they would’ve died. They needed me.”

“ _I_ need you! As your captain and best friend, don’t you think I should take precedent?”

He blinked. “Jim?”

“I _love_ you, Bones. I thought I was going to lose you,” Jim whispers, a haunted tone in his voice. “Don’t you dare leave me like that again or I’ll cuff you to the sickbay.”

“I wouldn’t leave you. Love you too much to do that,” he mutters tiredly, eyes fluttering close. “Besides, someone’s got to keep you in one piece.”


End file.
